Today is a celebration of Jesus's **Erection***, Not Resurrection!
Today is a celebration of the first time in his existence when he had a boner. Nothing more.
Thanks Terence Koh for showing us the true Jesus, on his Erection Day:
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/sep/03/religion.art
related:
http://aronnamenwirth.blogspot.com/2011/04/christ-on-cross-with-erection.html
Other religions on the subject:
http://www.cracked.com/article_16103_5-inspiring-religions-that-worship-penises.html
in Japan:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/07/japan-penis-festival-kanamara-matsuri_n_5106378.html
and
http://goo.gl/fbyVeY
OMG, I think Spencer Kimball & Mark E. Petersen's heads must have just exploded, after seeing what those Japanese people do to celibate spring & hopeful fertility.
Much more interesting than Jesus getting a boner. Jesus is a fucking bore. Lame. Pretentious. Pious. Angry under a thin mask of false pretense of being nice. Nice on the surface, but an asshole when you get to know him. An excellent model & mirror for most Mormons. Thanks Jesus, for BYU, the Church Office Building, and all your little nazi followers.
So, let's forget that and instead consider proper fertility festivals of other religions.
Remember the 1973 version of Wicker Man?
http://vimeo.com/65040858
Oh my, now they had some good fertility dances on that island... And they toasted the guy who wanted to impose his pious iron fisted prudishness onto everyone. Sounds good to me.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2010/apr/03/easter-pagan-symbolism
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