Ok regarding meme sets called cults, I've been a member of more than one:
1st: The Mormon meme set. Still a cult, with a slow trajectory toward being less cult like. Founded by two polygamists who had a.) underage wives (this is called: pedophilia & child rape), and b.) wives who were still married to other men (this is called: adultery).
The Mo Church dumped polygamy, which was good, but splinter groups who also worship Joseph Smith continue the practice. I've toured first hand polygamous cities in & near Utah. And we've been bowling next to a gaggle of polygamous women & a few of their kids. I also see them at grocery stores near me on occasion. Splinter group Mormons.
In more recent years the Mo Church decided to micro-manage the sex lives of their members. In 1982 Prophet of God Spencer Kimball issued a directive stating that oral sex was not approved of god. Think about the content and procedure of such a letter going out to Mormon members. Consider very carfully the impact on the lives of regular people of such a directive.
Next Spencer Kimball told the youth of the church that masturbation could easily turn them into homosexuals. He also stated that >mandatory< interviews regarding masturbation were >required< with Mormon bishops. Such interviews were also common at the Mormon Missionary Training Center.
Consider very carefully the impact on people's lives of such misinformation & abuse.
Now, Kimball's lying abusive book Miracle of Forgiveness (oxymoron title) was recently removed from the Mo church distribution centers, after being present there in multiple languages. This happened with the past 5 years or so. But before about 5 years ago, this crap book was again in multiple languages, and given to young people & adults as required reading: https://archive.org/stream/MiracleOfForgiveness/MoF_djvu.txt
So, the dumping of Miracle of Forgiveness from the Mo Church distribution centers (the stores members go to buy religious study materials directly from the church), well that's a move in the non-cult direction.
But, and this is a huge point, the interrogations of young people & adults regarding sexual matters continues. Thus, still a cult.
If you question the leaders you are blocked from access to the temples of the church, and you might be put in trial and booted from the church. Thus, still a cult.
Some members will still threaten you personally if you publicly question church teachings and church leadership. Thus, still a cult.
There is still incredibly strong social pressure to >never< question what the top leaders say. Thus, still a cult.
2nd: The cult of cultural leftism, which I much later leaned results from cultural neomarxist postmodernism. The cultural left denies science & reason & evidence & human nature every day & all the time.
Was Margaret Sanger a eugenicist? Yes she was.
Do children absolutely require, for their own well being, a mother AND a father? Yes, for concrete and proven evolutionary reasons.
Does the birth control pill alter, in bad and dangerous ways, the mental health and mate preferences of human females? Yes.
Should a mother, ideally and if at all possible, stay home with her children for as long as possible, for the best well being of the children? Yes.
Are women paid less than men for equal work? No.
Is there systemic racism in America? No, and there's hasn't been any such for many years now.
Are humans a gender binary species? Yes.
Is capitalism & full free speech the best ways for humans to thrive best? Yes.
Did Karl Marx fundamentally misunderstand human nature? Yes. Do all socialist / communist / Marxist systems eventually fail? Yes. Are they human spirit destroying Ponzi schemes? Yes.
Is monogamy the best way for humans to mate & have kids, a system which is best both for female & male & children well being? Yes.
Do religions couch evolved morality & evolved traits? Yes.
What are the leftist answers to all the above? Pretty much exactly the opposite of what the facts & our own evolved natures show. Thus on point after point, the cultural left, is a fraking cult.
Masturbation doesn't make you a homosexual as was claimed by Spencer Kimball, although telling kids it easily can or will does unfortunately generate many ultra-leftist angry reactionaries who end up in the other-cult known as Stonewall & "Pride." But, when you're of dating age and especially when above the age of 21, directing your sexual energies toward inherent reproduction is a strategy for success.
I spent many years as an ultra-leftist reactionary. A ping pong game from ultra-right to ultra-left. From one cult to another.
A few of my nephews & nieces (and an uncle) weren't unscathed from the abuses of the ultra-left. And frankly those who were hobbled (& killed) were victims of BOTH the ultra-right AND the ultra-left. A reactionary pingpong game.
Yes people deserve to know the truth. Are you being held back by entrenched dogma & doctrines? A dogma is a premise which cannot be questioned by definition.
Yes we can question whether cultural neomarxist postmodernism is a cult and comprises a set of lies or not. Yes we can question human nature. We can question whether scientific propositions are true or not.
Joseph Smith was a charlatan, but there's a great deal of charlatanry going on on the cultural left also, charlatanry with far wider abusive scope than the influence of the itty bitty religion of Mormonism.
Showing posts with label Spencer Kimball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spencer Kimball. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Monday, October 9, 2017
Mormon Bishops are Child Abusers
Mormon Bishops are Child Abusers
Mormon Bishops routinely interrogate children and adults regarding sexual issues, and especially regarding masturbation.
Mormons, and especially Mormon Bishops, want to know!
This is the key question Mormon Bishops ask children, again, and again, and again. Children as young as 8 through the age of 25 - oh and especially at the Mormon Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Provo, Utah. But even in the regular meeting houses, if you masturbate as an 11-19 year old, you are required to go confess to your Mormon Bishop! After age 19, the Mormon Missionary structure takes over the asking. Then when you come home again after your Mormon mission, they'll still be asking.
Yes it's true that they do, universally, interrogate & grill the boys on this, but there is spill over effect onto the girls (cycle of abusive shame - teaching children to hate their own bodies).
Also, as per a widely distributed book within Mormonism, 'Miracle of Forgiveness' by Mormon Prophet Spencer Kimball, masturbation can easily make you a homosexual! Yes that's right, masturbation can make you a 'gay!' This message was told to me when I was young, and thus the Mormon Church is how I first learned about the existence of homosexuality. Next they taught me that if I masturbated, I could easily become a homosexual.
Suicides have resulted from this rampant widespread child abuse.
One such example, the suicide of Kip Eliason:
http://thoughtsonthingsandstuff.com/a-latter-day-tragedy-suicide-over-masturbation/
Also there's a very popular 'Pride' culture in Salt Lake City. I argue the main reason for this is because children who're abused via this cycle-of-shaming scheme, grow up to be reactionary ultra-leftists in response. Thus the Mormon Church is an ultra-leftist generation machine.
video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XinaY7_KiJU
Mormon Bishops routinely interrogate children and adults regarding sexual issues, and especially regarding masturbation.
Mormons, and especially Mormon Bishops, want to know!
This is the key question Mormon Bishops ask children, again, and again, and again. Children as young as 8 through the age of 25 - oh and especially at the Mormon Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Provo, Utah. But even in the regular meeting houses, if you masturbate as an 11-19 year old, you are required to go confess to your Mormon Bishop! After age 19, the Mormon Missionary structure takes over the asking. Then when you come home again after your Mormon mission, they'll still be asking.
Yes it's true that they do, universally, interrogate & grill the boys on this, but there is spill over effect onto the girls (cycle of abusive shame - teaching children to hate their own bodies).
Also, as per a widely distributed book within Mormonism, 'Miracle of Forgiveness' by Mormon Prophet Spencer Kimball, masturbation can easily make you a homosexual! Yes that's right, masturbation can make you a 'gay!' This message was told to me when I was young, and thus the Mormon Church is how I first learned about the existence of homosexuality. Next they taught me that if I masturbated, I could easily become a homosexual.
Suicides have resulted from this rampant widespread child abuse.
One such example, the suicide of Kip Eliason:
http://thoughtsonthingsandstuff.com/a-latter-day-tragedy-suicide-over-masturbation/
Also there's a very popular 'Pride' culture in Salt Lake City. I argue the main reason for this is because children who're abused via this cycle-of-shaming scheme, grow up to be reactionary ultra-leftists in response. Thus the Mormon Church is an ultra-leftist generation machine.
Relevant clip from the film The God Makers, regarding the suicide of Kip Eliason.
Longer clip:
https://youtu.be/ljzVkt-I4Co
----------------------
As the answer to the following question appears to be YES:
'Is the Mormon Church still interrogating children and adults about masturbation?'
Thursday, October 5, 2017
Is the Mormon Church still interrogating children and adults about masturbation?
Is the Mormon Church still interrogating children and adults about masturbation?
Spencer Kimball & Boyd Packer, past & present prophets / Apostles of God, want into YOUR bedroom and the bedrooms of your children.
Teaching children to hate their own evolved sexual natures as they are coming of age, IS a reactionary ultra-leftist generation machine.
Video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7StK16_cPQ
Spencer Kimball & Boyd Packer, past & present prophets / Apostles of God, want into YOUR bedroom and the bedrooms of your children.
Teaching children to hate their own evolved sexual natures as they are coming of age, IS a reactionary ultra-leftist generation machine.
A related exchange from Facebook, quote begins:
I suggest that the way Mormonism deals with sexuality, results in the >exact opposite< of what they're hoping to accomplish.
Recently I encountered Jordan B. Peterson (JBP). I appreciate his approach, honestly, and general pragmatic social conservatism.
Below is a copy of an open letter I shared with him.
I am, now, fully on board with the pro-family pro-life pro-1.2-billion-year-evolved-marriage pro-reproduction pro-children project, but only after observing much of what the abusively permissive ultra left has to offer.
'Choose to be a non-outlier if you can'
I know there's a lot of non-Mormon Christians who're part of recovery from leftist crap. On the Mormon / Christian front there's a relevant old film called The Godmakers which mentions a boy named Kip who killed himself as a result of the Mormon approach.
Relevant clip from the film The God Makers:
Longer: https://youtu.be/ljzVkt-I4Co
------ quote of letter shared with JBP
You've had some questions regarding Mormonism of late. Here's more info.
In response to your general work & for where you touch upon human sexual nature topics:
FYI Mormonism has: a.) frequent required interrogations re masturbation for adolescents & adults, b.) claims from their past prophets that masturbation can lead to homosexuality, c.) a 1982 letter from their leadership stating that oral sex is prohibited. These types of cultural religious requirements tend to generate reactionary ultra-leftists in response, a fact which otherwise defeats the top-level general good intentions of religions like Mormonism.
The founders of Mormonism had underage wives & wives who were still legally married to other men. I'm an ex-Mormon and it's taken me a very long time to recover, first from ultra-right Mormonism, and next from reactionary ultra-leftism.
Now I'm center-right socially & economically. Also I transitioned from being a morbidly obese virgin living in my parent's basement, to a somewhat less heavy regular-house-dwelling father of three with a happy family.
I appreciate your general advocacy for social conservatism, but this is an FYI note that some ultra-right religions do actively generate reactionary ultra-leftists. Interrogating youngsters regarding masturbation teaches them to hate their own evolved sexual natures.
I've listened to your stated stances on these topics and I generally agree with you. For sure our energies in these regards should be directed toward an inherently-reproductive partner. But when adolescents and adults are 'pushed too far,' results can happen which are the exact and precise opposite of what should generally be hoped & aimed for.
The ultra-left is no panacea utopian 'answer' to the ultra-right. Instead I suggest the answers lie with pragmatic honesty regarding human nature & what prompts humans to live happy lives.
References:
1. Mormon 1982 oral sex prohibition letter: http://stakepresident.blogspot.com/2011/05/oral-abstinence-key-to-happy-fulfilling.html
...as on a parody website, but the quoted letter is quite real.
2. Mormon-Prophet issued book stating that masturbation can lead to homosexuality, a book given to many youngsters w/in Mormonism: https://archive.org/stream/MiracleOfForgiveness/MoF_djvu.txt
3. My own exit journal, on what is now a legacy website which reflects the time when I was still a reactionary ultra-leftist:
4. My more recent blog which documents my transition from ultra-left to basically center right economically & socially. http://jonathanshome.blogspot.com/
5. Wives of the founders of Mormonism:
6. Hundreds of stories of others who've left Mormonism:
7. Anti-masturbation pamphlet given to many adolescents in Mormonism:
8. Another set of instructions given to young boys on the topic of masturbation:
E.g.: "...yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind."
In-person required interrogations of impressionable youth conducted by Mormon Bishops, interrogations starting as early as age 10.
Telling adolescents that masturbation can make one gay. For myself this was my first introduction to homosexuality - the Mormon Church telling me that if I masturbated I could become gay.
Telling adolescents to yell "STOP" in their minds when they have sexual thoughts.
Intrusive child & adult abuse.
For sure relations with real flesh & blood people of the opposite sex is preferable, but the above illustrations are frankly outright child abuse, and like I say ultra-leftist reactionaries are absolutely generated in response to the above highly hypocritical scheme, hypocritical in light of the documented actions of the founders of Mormonism.
In Salt Lake City there's very active & well attended 'Gay Pride' events, the headquarters of Mormonism. Two sides of the same coin. FYI.
-----------------
[I received a response from an LDS person at BYU (Brigham Young Universitiy) who scoffed at my account. My response to them:]
-----------------
The LDS Church, is IMO a gay person generator. Yes the approach of the Mormon Church drives people into the hands of the denialist left. On topic I suggest.
When 10 year olds are interrogated on the issue referenced, there's costs.
Yes I know that non-Mormon Christian churches want people to recover from being gay. That's great. Doug Mainwaring's path, is super & I support it.
But, as I note, the non-Mormon Christians have some rather strong concerns regarding the Mormon approach - as noted in the God Maker's film which documents the suicide of Kip Eliason.
I support the general top level social conservative goals of churches like Mormonism. But I'm suggesting they're shooting themselves in the foot by taking an approach which does drive people into the hands of the reactionary denialist left.
I suppose there's some value in culture for making note of how people's lives are actually lived. When I protested Mormonism, holding up Bruce Bagemihl's book 'Biological Exuberance,' I was a reactionary noob. Got my picture in the paper for the privilege. Now I see Bagemihl's approach as being myopic.
What's 'selected for' with humans is inherent reproduction. What makes humans the most happy, is reproduction. Life. Having children. Nihilism is a dead end.
Yes the Mormon Church is tempering their approach. The book widely handed out to church youth, Miracle of Forgiveness, which taught that masturbation would make you gay, is no longer in LDS Church distribution centers. Thank goodness. And many people, including many Mormons reportedly, are glad it's no longer there. But I suspect the interrogations of 10-14 year olds is still taking place. These kids first exposure to homosexuality, is via these interviews & teachings.
Cruising along as a normal kid, and then you encounter this crap? There are costs. The death of Kip Eliason. And yes, I would suggest, a hugely popular 'Pride' culture going on in Salt Lake. Reactions to going too far.
So I agree there's darn high value to the promotion of inherent reproduction. For god if you wish. For Jesus, that's fine. But also to honor 1.2 billion years of our own evolution as sexual animals - 1.2 billion years being the amount of time sex has existed on this planet.
-----------------
[The BYU man told me that 'anecdotal accounts' mean nothing, but also that the anecdotal accounts of 'millions' of Mormons should be highly respected:]
-----------------
First hand observations & cogent reflections. Gay uncle, dead of AIDS due to the glory hole culture of San Fran, leaving his straight family with no father. He grew up in Manti, Utah. From ultra-right to ultra-left, then dead.
Gay nephew, sucked into gay culture after having really an overly harsh Mormon father and a passive Mormon mother.
Myself, a reactionary ultra-leftist social justice warrior for several years until I woke up & decided to stop being a nihilist.
First hand lived experiences as a Mormon. Seeing other's experiences.
I'm 100% on board with 5-word-top-level summaries of what Mormons advocate for socially, but I only joined that ship after many years of an Alice in Wonderstand style journey through the dystopian denialist left.
Not to offend anyone, but I see religion as a fully natural phenomenon. Evolved traits couched within religious contexts. The Christian tradition is rather more valuable than others, because it allowed for a Reformation & Enlightenment.
If the Mormon Church is still interrogating 11 year olds about masturbation, such acts have costs I suggest. What are the costs other than the occasional suicide? 'Pride' I suggest. Stonewall reactionaries who see it as their key mission to defeat, the otherwise mostly-good & valuable family values that come out of 50 E. N. Temple (or 47 E. S. Temple).
Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not taking things out of the air. First hand observations & reflections. If you don't agree that's ok...
--------------- [The BYU man scoffed and dismissed more. My further response:]
Can you confirm or deny the interrogations referenced are still taking place? Widespread, or not so much?
Not to quell the Lord's Path to Truth or anything. Life does kind of suck, for the canary who has to actually enter the coal mine.
Does the squeaky wheel get the grease or the hammer within the gilded cage? I've had many hammers swung at me over the years, from the right and the left (mostly from the left these days, but I'll take all comers).
The elephant in the room.
The de facto cultural link, between 47 E. S. Temple and 255 E. 400 S.
Regarding anecdotal accounts:
The experiences of millions? Wouldn't that be just a higher number of easily-dismissible anecdotal accounts?
I don't claim anecdotal accounts should be automatically dismissed.
I'm just saying that on one hand you discount my experiences, the lived experiences of others, the suicide of the young man Kip referenced, while at the same time claiming that the anecdotal experiences of others should be rather highly valued.
'Pride' can just grow & grow & grow & grow in Salt Lake, and the guys in the Church Admin building can go on their course pretty much ambivalent to what I'm talking about I suppose. But frankly, I think there >is< a creep of SJWism (social justice warriorism) within Church HQ.
Kimball's horrible book as referenced, gone from the Church Distribution centers. Ding Dong The Witch is Dead - the song comes to mind.
On the creeping-SJW front: At the Utah Museum of Fine Arts, where LDS Church owned property is on display, they now have signs which state that "UMFA acknowledges that gender is not binary."
Art department managers now get to negate 1.2 billion years of history & our own evolved nature?
I have notified the Mormon Church about the signage and the risks such signs pose to women (the signs also say that men can use the women's restrooms if they want). Women of course, real women, have zero choice in this matter.
What's the response of the Mormon Church to this situation, after being notified? Crickets.
I know they teach evolution and biology at BYU, as I've been there first hand (yet another one of those pesky anecdotal accounts).
I'm aware that this forum is intended to serve as a support structure apparently for people who'd like to recover from denialist leftism and who'd like to live lives of inherent reproduction.
As a man with children, I don't want to see my children sucked into the denialist cult of abusively-permissive-leftism. The leftist cult which wants to put a gold star on the foreheads of those who're the very best, at not having children.
The people at the helm of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, have apparently chosen to shelve Kimball's horrible book. That Is Progress.
More Christians. And even More Mormons. That's ok. But on the other hand, child abuse is child abuse. And the types of interrogations mentioned, IMO turn some of the victims into ultra-leftist reactionaries.
Why would I bother to even have this discussion? What's >my< agenda on this front? I want people to be happy, and I want the truth to be out there. The truth is the ultra-left is not a panacea answer to the ultra-right.
If you visit Pride, and Stonewall, and the Unitarian Universalist Churches, and Atheist of Utah parties (A of U is now run by Stonewall SJWs - and they booted me when I told them I liked Duck Dynasty) - if you were to visit these places you'd find cultural refugees who're basically 'in recovery' from the Kimball-Packer approach to things.
If people can find happiness via being Mormon, that's ok mostly, but children should not be interrogated for masturbation when they're coming of age, interrogated by strangers. And the costs for doing such are many.
----------------------------------------
'Questions for Mormon Missionaries - God, Sex, and honesty | 16 questions for Mormon Missionaries'
https://jonathanshome.blogspot.com/2014/03/questions-for-mormon-missionaries-god.html
As the answer to the question I post appears to be yes, after checking, the following new page was created:
'Mormon Bishops are Child Abusers'
http://jonathanshome.blogspot.com/2017/10/mormon-bishops-are-child-abusers.html
----------------------------------------
'Questions for Mormon Missionaries - God, Sex, and honesty | 16 questions for Mormon Missionaries'
https://jonathanshome.blogspot.com/2014/03/questions-for-mormon-missionaries-god.html
As the answer to the question I post appears to be yes, after checking, the following new page was created:
'Mormon Bishops are Child Abusers'
http://jonathanshome.blogspot.com/2017/10/mormon-bishops-are-child-abusers.html
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Repackaged bullshit: Porn The New Tobacco | Jack Fischer | TEDxBinghamtonUniversity
November 2017 addendum:
My views on the matter of porn have evolved some. From Pompeii onward there's many examples showing that humans have enjoyed watching portrayals of human sexuality. The ideal expression of sexuality is within marriage. Before marriage, masturbation should be used, but prudently so that you still have enough sexual energy for dating.
Yes, regular porn is crass and stupid, and even abusive. And the industry is a sink hole of abuse. Harlotry & whoring, on film.
Yes it's useful to see how sex works.
Yes, it can be fun. But, don't have too much fun. Seek out people in real life.
Balance.
My views on the matter of porn have evolved some. From Pompeii onward there's many examples showing that humans have enjoyed watching portrayals of human sexuality. The ideal expression of sexuality is within marriage. Before marriage, masturbation should be used, but prudently so that you still have enough sexual energy for dating.
Yes, regular porn is crass and stupid, and even abusive. And the industry is a sink hole of abuse. Harlotry & whoring, on film.
Yes it's useful to see how sex works.
Yes, it can be fun. But, don't have too much fun. Seek out people in real life.
Balance.
Prudence.
What would be the solution? Well, I would now lean toward keeping kids away from the stuff completely of course. Completely. And adult should should be, well, as f-ing minimal as possible, with a very strong preference being given toward real in person interactions.
Dating and marriage in other words. Marriage. And yes marriage with children, and that's the point of sex: children!
-----------------------
Ultra-right religious bullshit, repackaged via TED(x) morons:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9pPgIraoOM
My video response:
Human interest in watching open expressions of human sexuality isn't fucking the new tobacco.
And neither is the darker side of porn 1.0, where people crassly sell a very poor and inaccurate portrayal of human sexuality.
Porn 2.0 is a step up, where people organically share more honest expressions of intimate activities. Sites such as xtube.com have such expressions, but sadly sites with some porn 2.0 content are fully funded via crass & abusive porn 1.0 content.
Porn 3.0 would be where humans can share full & honest expressions of human sexuality without the abusive harlottry of porn 1.0 being around at all.
Also Porn 3.0 would mention how sex results in babies! Perish the thought!
Can the two concepts be merged? Porn 3.0 would leave the whores in the dust, but still would share honest expressions of human sexuality.
Now, back to Jack Fischer: This "nofap" business of ascribing nobility to abstinence from masturbation: That is abuse - the very quintessence of it.
My own experience with masturbation in the Mormon Church:
Mortal Mormonism: How Mormons are taught to do right, then betrayed and shamed by their upper leaders. By Jonathan , a former: temple worker, full time missionary, Sunday School president, priesthood holder, and member of the Mormon Church. A personal journal & explanation.
http://corvus.freeshell.org/corvus_corax/two/life_path/Mortal_Mormonism.htm
or http://corvus.freeshell.org/corvus_corax/two/life_path/Mortal-Mormonism-November-26-2005.pdf
In Mormonism they teach young children from at least the age of eleven that masturbation is evil. They also readily share a terrible book called Miracle of Forgiveness by past Mormon prophet Spencer Kimball about the evils of masturbation, how masturbation can destroy your life, may turn you into a homosexual, and is a sin which must be confessed to a Mormon Bishop and is a sin which makes it so you cannot visit the Mormon temples.
Related previous posts:
Jesus wants me for an asshole: the song of LDS missionaries, bishops, and prophets
http://jonathanshome.blogspot.com/2014/03/jesus-wants-me-for-asshole-song-of-lds.html
lds.org : discover the perversity or Mormonism
http://jonathanshome.blogspot.com/2013/02/ldsorg-discover-perversity-or-mormonism.html
Advice for TBMs on porn: Why society accepts pornography but not littering?
http://jonathanshome.blogspot.com/2014/05/advise-for-tbms-on-porn-why-society.html
To the Mormon wife whose husband is 'addicted to porn:' 12 *real* steps that will help!
http://jonathanshome.blogspot.com/2013/07/to-mormon-wife-whos-husband-is-addicted.html
---------------
Now it's true that there's "dangers" with uneducated exposure to crass harlotry. But on the other hand we can go too far with the shaming.
So take with a huge grain of salt advise from fuckers like this guy:
Why be wary of advise from people like this guy? Because there's a very easy abusive slope and connection between ultra-right type abusive sexual shaming, and the supposedly secular repackaging of these ideas. The "secular" supposedly "scientific" repackaging of ultra-right religious shaming regarding human sexuality - is by it's very nature inherently problematic.
As for all this, and especially regarding shaming for masturbation:
You CAN and you WILL teach children to hate their own bodies!
You CAN and you WILL teach children and adults VERY unhealthy ideas regarding masturbation and the value of self-touching and self-exploration.
You CAN and you WILL teach adults they should be AFRAID of having too much sexual energy present in their lives, and in their relationships!
Teaching people to be afraid and fearful of the SEXUAL SYSTEMS built into them by billions of years evolution by natural selection: THAT IS ABUSIVE!
So there is ZERO nobility in abstaining from masturbation.
There is value in having enough sexual energy and motivation to go on a date, or to love your wife more often. That's true! But the easy-ready slope to teaching people to hate their own bodies just because we're inherently sexual, that is something we need to be very careful about doing.
So you abstained from masturbation for six months?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzterc3NqeU
You stupid dumb fuck: Prostate cancer awaits.
Also you are cheating yourself by doing such a moronic thing!
What a moron you are - you "nofap" fool!
Secular repackaging of ultra-right religious shame is really just lipstick on an otherwise abusive pig.
Sorry to see that the TED / TEDx effort has been hijacked by all this. Rich snobs can be dumbshits too.Joycelyn Elders on masturbation:
"...Masturbation, practiced consciously or unconsciously, cultivates in us a humble elegance -- an awareness that we are part of a larger natural system, the passions and rhythms of which live on in us. Sexuality is part of creation, part of our common inheritance, and it reminds us that we are neither inherently better nor worse than our sisters and brothers. Far from evil, masturbation just may render heavenly contentment in those who dare..."
http://web.archive.org/web/20041019084748/http://www.uno.edu/~asoble/pages/elders.htm
And remember that Bill Clinton fired her for stating this type of thing.
Clinton Fires Surgeon General Over New Flap
http://articles.latimes.com/1994-12-10/news/mn-7305_1_surgeon-general
...while at the same time Clinton was having oral sex in the oval office.
A good response from Hitchens:
No One Left to Lie To: The Triangulations of William Jefferson Clinton
http://www.amazon.com/One-Left-Lie-Triangulations-Jefferson/dp/1455522996
Bill Clinton, Womanizer and Adulterer In Chief, fired a surgeon general who advocates for the value of masturbation.
Past Mormon Prophet Spencer Kimball tells married couples they should not engage in oral sex, and that masturbation is a great evil.
Oral sex:
http://lds-mormon.com/worthy_letter.shtml
page two:
http://lds-mormon.com/worthy_letter1.shtml
Masturbation:
http://mormonthink.com/QUOTES/masturbation.htm
Mormon leader Boyd Packer comes out with an incredibly abusive anti-masturbation pamphlet which is shared very widely with all Mormon boys.
Text in pamphlet:
http://www.lds-mormon.com/only.shtml
Evangelical Christian fuckers buy into the same abusive bullshit.
And then fucking TEDx allows repackagers of ultra-right religious shame in a supposedly "secular" form.
Thanks TEDx & TED, and go to hell.
--------------
Keep masturbating!
Share your masturbation experiences with your partner!
Help your partner start masturbating!
Even be so bold as to search for porn 2.0 on the internet (real people engage in real sex, not whores showing a false view - hard to find, but may you can find it).
Use that you find to help to expand your repertoire with your real life partner!
Your brain isn't being hijacked, no more than breathing hijacks your body. Sex is a key part of who we are - inseparable. That's why people who teach us to feel bad for being sexual animals are evil, even sexual repackagers of such abusive shame.
Yes there's some value in limited amounts of shame if a given activity leads to a dead end. But medium or long term abstinence from masturbation is an inherent abuse.
Religions like Mormonism & Evangelical Christianity DO hijack human sexuality, for their own nefarious ends. They subvert normal natural humanity for their own evil ends. And "nofap" is a supposedly secular apology for this subversion.
Suicide in Mormonism from anti-masturbation bull, as in the The Godmakers documentary:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lm1oS00F4n4&t=23m15s
...start at or fast forward to time index 23:15, and especially continue through past 24:33 to learn about a young man who killed himself because he was taught within Mormonism to hate his own body.
More info:
http://web.archive.org/web/20131021180407/http://www.affirmation.org/suicide_info/sin_and_death_in_mormon_country.shtml
------------
Additional links:
Mormon Bishops Are Child Abusers | Brain washed pretentious pompous claptrap, from a bunch of retrograde old farts: Thomas S. Monson, Spencer W. Kimball, Boyd Packer
http://jonathanshome.blogspot.com/2014/03/mormon-bishops-are-child-abusers-brain.html
Thanks Masturbation!
http://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/32jfqh/thanks_masturbation/
Mormon Bishop shows first hand how they interrogate children on the topic:
http://exmormon.org/d6/drupal/Email-exchange-with-bishop-regarding-masturbation
No More: End Mormons' Sexually Invasive Interviews of Children - facebook page
https://www.facebook.com/pages/No-More-End-Mormons-Sexually-Invasive-Interviews-of-Children/503622079732706
Time To Ask Romney About LDS History Of Sex Abuse Cover-ups
http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/time-ask-romney-about-lds-history-sex
#MORMONS allow their children to be interrogated by #LDS Bishops about Sex/Masturbation behind closed doors.It is Child Abuse #twitterstake
https://twitter.com/cwillardsmoot/status/586191864732192769
Masturbation 'cuts cancer risk'
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Happy Erection Day! Easter.
Today is a celebration of Jesus's **Erection***, Not Resurrection!
Today is a celebration of the first time in his existence when he had a boner. Nothing more.
Thanks Terence Koh for showing us the true Jesus, on his Erection Day:
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/sep/03/religion.art
related:
http://aronnamenwirth.blogspot.com/2011/04/christ-on-cross-with-erection.html
Other religions on the subject:
http://www.cracked.com/article_16103_5-inspiring-religions-that-worship-penises.html
in Japan:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/07/japan-penis-festival-kanamara-matsuri_n_5106378.html
and
http://goo.gl/fbyVeY
OMG, I think Spencer Kimball & Mark E. Petersen's heads must have just exploded, after seeing what those Japanese people do to celibate spring & hopeful fertility.
Much more interesting than Jesus getting a boner. Jesus is a fucking bore. Lame. Pretentious. Pious. Angry under a thin mask of false pretense of being nice. Nice on the surface, but an asshole when you get to know him. An excellent model & mirror for most Mormons. Thanks Jesus, for BYU, the Church Office Building, and all your little nazi followers.
So, let's forget that and instead consider proper fertility festivals of other religions.
Remember the 1973 version of Wicker Man?
http://vimeo.com/65040858
Oh my, now they had some good fertility dances on that island... And they toasted the guy who wanted to impose his pious iron fisted prudishness onto everyone. Sounds good to me.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2010/apr/03/easter-pagan-symbolism
Today is a celebration of the first time in his existence when he had a boner. Nothing more.
Thanks Terence Koh for showing us the true Jesus, on his Erection Day:
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/sep/03/religion.art
related:
http://aronnamenwirth.blogspot.com/2011/04/christ-on-cross-with-erection.html
Other religions on the subject:
http://www.cracked.com/article_16103_5-inspiring-religions-that-worship-penises.html
in Japan:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/07/japan-penis-festival-kanamara-matsuri_n_5106378.html
and
http://goo.gl/fbyVeY
OMG, I think Spencer Kimball & Mark E. Petersen's heads must have just exploded, after seeing what those Japanese people do to celibate spring & hopeful fertility.
Much more interesting than Jesus getting a boner. Jesus is a fucking bore. Lame. Pretentious. Pious. Angry under a thin mask of false pretense of being nice. Nice on the surface, but an asshole when you get to know him. An excellent model & mirror for most Mormons. Thanks Jesus, for BYU, the Church Office Building, and all your little nazi followers.
So, let's forget that and instead consider proper fertility festivals of other religions.
Remember the 1973 version of Wicker Man?
http://vimeo.com/65040858
Oh my, now they had some good fertility dances on that island... And they toasted the guy who wanted to impose his pious iron fisted prudishness onto everyone. Sounds good to me.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2010/apr/03/easter-pagan-symbolism
Friday, March 21, 2014
Mormon Bishops Are Child Abusers | Brain washed pretentious pompous claptrap, from a bunch of retrograde old farts: Thomas S. Monson, Spencer W. Kimball, Boyd Packer
1. Mormon Bishops Are Child Abusers
Oh my fucking god, and Jesus titty fucking Christ, here's a Mormon Bishop describing first hand how he intends to abuse children within his sphere of influence:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP4siTJiMFI
.
time index references as per original poster of the video:
...end of quote
--------------------------------------
2. Brain washed pretentious pompous claptrap, from a bunch of retrograde old farts:
Thomas S. Monson, Spencer W. Kimball, Boyd Packer
Examples of the abusive drivel from which the Mormon Bishop referenced above derives his fear-based diatribe against being human:
"We call upon members to renew their commitment to live the Lord’s standard of moral conduct. Parents should teach their children the sacred nature of procreative powers and instill in them a desire to be chaste in thought and deed. A correct understanding of the divinely appointed roles of men and women will fortify all against sinful practices. Our only real safety, physically and spiritually, lies in keeping the Lord’s commandments."
From https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/morality-and-modesty/office-of-the-first-presidency?lang=eng
Jar Jar Binks, becomes a mormon leader:
"weesa call upon members to renew thesa commitment to live da lord’s standard of moral conduct.parents should teach thesa children da sacr nature of procreative powers and instill in them a desire to be chasta in thought and de.a correct understand of da divine appoint roles of men and women ganna fortify all against sinful practices.weesa on real safety,physical and spiritual,lies in keep da lord’s commandments."
Swedish Chef:
"Ve-a cell upun members tu renoo zeeur cummeetment tu leefe-a zee Lurd’s stunderd ooff murel cundooct. Um de hur de hur de hur. Perents shuoold teech zeeur cheeldree zee secred netoore-a ooff prucreeteefe-a pooers und insteell in zeem a desure-a tu be-a cheste-a in thuooght und deed. Bork bork bork! A currect understundeeng ooff zee deefinely eppueented rules ooff mee und vumee veell furteeffy ell egeeenst seenffool precteeces. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Oooor oonly reel seffety, physeecelly und spureetooelly, leees in keepeeng zee Lurd’s cummundments. Um gesh dee bork, bork!"
--------------------------
Also from the King of retrograde a-holes, Spencer W. Kimball, we have:
"Most youth come into contact early with masturbation. Many would-be authorities declare that it is natural and acceptable, and frequently young men I interview cite these advocates to justify their practice of it. To this we must respond that the world's norms in many areas: drinking, smoking, and sex experience generally, to mention only a few - depart increasingly from God's law. The Church has a different, higher norm."
"Thus prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation. It induces feelings of guilt and shame. It is detrimental to spirituality. It indicates slavery to the flesh, not that mastery of it and the growth toward godhood which is the object of our mortal life. Our modern prophet has indicated that no young man should be called on a mission who is not free from this practice."
"While we should not regard this weakness as the heinous sin which some other sexual practices are, it is of itself bad enough to require sincere repentance. What is more, it too often leads to grievous sin, even to that sin against nature, homosexuality. For, done in private, it evolves often into mutual masturbation--practiced with another person of the same sex and thence into total homosexuality."
From: https://web.archive.org/web/20121024074759/http://www.lds.org/braille/The%20Miracle%20of%20Forgiveness.txt
Jar Jar Binks version:
"most youth comein into contact ear with masturbation.many would-be authorities declare da isa natural and acceptable,and frequent young men missa interview cita these advocates to justify thesa practice of it.to dis weesa must respond da da biiig empire s norms in many areas:drink,smok,and sex experience general,to mention onda few - depart increasing from biiig one s law.da church has a different,higher norm."
"thus prophets ancient and today condemn masturbation.it induces feelings of guilt and shame.isa detrimental to spirituality.it indicates slavery toda flesh,no da mastery of it and da growth toward godhood which is da object of weesa mortal life.weesa modern prophet has indicat da no young man should be call onda mission who is no free from dis practice."
"while weesa should no regard dis weakness as da heinous sin which some other sexual practices is,isa of itself bombad enough to require sincere repentance.what is more,it too often leads to grievous sin,even to da sin against nature,homosexuality.for,done in privata,it evolves often into mutual masturbation--practic with another person of da same sex and thence into total homosexuality."
Swedish Chef:
"Must yuoot cume-a intu cuntect ierly veet mestoorbeshun. Muny vuoold-be-a oothureeties declere-a thet it is netoorel und eccepteble-a, und freqooently yuoong mee I interfeeoo ceete-a zeese-a edfucetes tu joosteeffy zeeur precteece-a ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Tu thees ve-a moost respund thet zee vurld's nurms in muny erees: dreenking, smukeeng, und sex ixpereeence-a generelly, tu menshun oonly a foo - depert increeseengly frum Gud's lev. Zee Choorch hes a deefffferent, heegher nurm."
"Thoos pruphets unceeently und tudey cundemn mestoorbeshun. It indooces feeleengs ooff gooeelt und sheme-a. It is detreementel tu spureetooelity. Bork bork bork! It indeecetes slefery tu zee flesh, nut thet mestery ooff it und zee groot tooerd gudhuud vheech is zee oobject ooff oooor murtel leeffe-a. Oooor mudern pruphet hes indeeceted thet nu yuoong mun shuoold be-a celled oon a meessiun vhu is nut free-a frum thees precteece-a."
"Vheele-a ve-a shuoold nut regerd thees veekness es zee heeenuoos seen vheech sume-a oozeer sexooel precteeces ere-a, it is ooff itselff bed inuoogh tu reqooure-a seencere-a repentunce-a. Vhet is mure-a, it tuu oofftee leeds tu greeefuoos seen, ifee tu thet seen egeeenst netoore-a, humusexooeleety. Bork bork bork! Fur, dune-a in preefete-a, it ifulfes oofftee intu mootooel mestoorbeshun--precteeced veet unuzeer persun ooff zee seme-a sex und zeence-a intu tutel humusexooeleety. Bork bork bork!"
Pig Latin:
"Ostmay youthay omecay intoyay ontactcay earlyyay ithway asturbationmay. Anymay ould-beway authoritiesyay eclareday atthay ityay isyay aturalnay andyay acceptableyay, andyay equentlyfray youngay enmay Iyay interviewyay itecay esethay advocatesyay otay ustifyjay eirthay acticepray ofyay ityay. Otay isthay eway ustmay espondray atthay ethay orld'sway ormsnay inyay anymay areasyay: inkingdray, okingsmay, andyay exsay experienceyay enerallygay, otay entionmay onlyyay ayay ewfay - epartday increasinglyyay omfray Od'sgay awlay. Ethay Urchchay ashay ayay ifferentday, igherhay ormnay."
"Usthay ophetspray ancientlyyay andyay odaytay ondemncay asturbationmay. Ityay inducesyay eelingsfay ofyay uiltgay andyay ameshay. Ityay isyay etrimentalday otay iritualityspay. Ityay indicatesyay averyslay otay ethay eshflay, otnay atthay asterymay ofyay ityay andyay ethay owthgray owardtay odhoodgay ichwhay isyay ethay objectyay ofyay ouryay ortalmay ifelay. Ouryay odernmay ophetpray ashay indicatedyay atthay onay youngay anmay ouldshay ebay alledcay onyay ayay issionmay owhay isyay otnay eefray omfray isthay acticepray."
"Ilewhay eway ouldshay otnay egardray isthay eaknessway asyay ethay einoushay insay ichwhay omesay otheryay exualsay acticespray areyay, ityay isyay ofyay itselfyay adbay enoughyay otay equireray inceresay epentanceray. Atwhay isyay oremay, ityay ootay oftenyay eadslay otay ievousgray insay, evenyay otay atthay insay againstyay aturenay, omosexualityhay. Orfay, oneday inyay ivatepray, ityay evolvesyay oftenyay intoyay utualmay asturbation--practicedmay ithway anotheryay ersonpay ofyay ethay amesay exsay andyay encethay intoyay otaltay omosexualityhay."
Valley Girl:
"Most youth come into contact early with masturbation. Many would-be authorities declare that it is natural and acceptable, like, and frequently young men I interview cite these advocates to justify their practice of it. To this we must respond that thuh world's norms in many areas: drinkin', man, smokin', like, wow, and sex experience generally, man, to mention only a few - depart increasin'ly from God's law. The Church has a different, man, higher norm."
"Thus prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation. It induces feelin's of guilt and shame. It is ya know, like, detrimental to spirituality. It indicates slavery to thuh flesh, like, not that mastery of it and thuh growth toward godhood which is like wow! the object of our mortal life. Our modern prophet has indicated that no young nerd should be called on a mission who is not free from this practice."
"While we should not regard this weakness as thuh heinous sin which some other sexual practices are, oh, baby, it is ya know, like, of itself mean enough to require sincere repentance. What is more, man, it too often leads to grievous sin, like, even to that sin against nature, man, homosexuality. For, like, wow, done in private, mostly, it evolves often into mutual masturbation--practiced with another person of thuh same sex and thence into total homosexuality."
I think my favorite versions are Swedish Chef.
------------------------
There's many reasons to extract oneself from such insantiy.
Here's more I just found:
Apostasy A to Z - Or, why I don't go to church any more. by Chris Tolworthy
http://www.exmormon.org.uk/tol_arch/atozelph/
Down toward the bottom of the last page there's a defunct link. But here's a copy:
Who Are The Lamanites?
http://web.archive.org/web/20060313004519/http://home.comcast.net/~zarahemla/Lamanites/Lamanites_Index.html
Attention, Spencer Kimball: Masturbation does not lead to homosexuality. But your constant obsessions about it may.
Attention, Boyd Packer: Keep your hands off of my little factory, and out of the bedrooms of all children & adults in your cult.
Attention, Thomas Monson & cohorts: You're a bunch of f-ing old farts. What about Joseph Smith sleeping with a 14 year old, and with the wives of other men? What about Brigham Young sleeping with a 15 year old and with the wives of other men?
No More: End Mormons' Sexually Invasive Interviews of Children
https://www.facebook.com/pages/No-More-End-Mormons-Sexually-Invasive-Interviews-of-Children/503622079732706
Teaching children to fear their own bodies. That is what the Mormon Church teaches. Teaching eight, and eleven, and twelve year old children that masturbation may lead to homosexuality. Crazy. Stupid. Abusive. This must be stopped!
Related images found on the web:
Oh my fucking god, and Jesus titty fucking Christ, here's a Mormon Bishop describing first hand how he intends to abuse children within his sphere of influence:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP4siTJiMFI
.
time index references as per original poster of the video:
Published on Jul 30, 2013
Recorded Aug 26th, 2012 from a special combined LDS meeting in North Ogden, UT. The topic is supposed to have come from a regional meeting, although it may have been inspired by my meeting with the bishop the week before when I protested the bishop talking about masturbation with my 8 year old for his baptismal interview.
The meeting was so important to them, that they took role of who showed up that Sunday, so that they could go visit the families in their homes who weren't present that day and give the presentation to them as well. 11:55 to 12:40 is where he talks how he explains to 8 year olds about their privates, but says that it may not be enough. He's concerned about how little kids don't know what chastity really is. 25:00-26:15 Questions for potential missionaries: same gender attraction, petting, masturbation, pornography. 26:35 Six month minimum waiting period after any of those sins are committed. 47:25-47:55 Apology to offended people, but excuses himself because of his "mantle."
--------------------------------------
2. Brain washed pretentious pompous claptrap, from a bunch of retrograde old farts:
Thomas S. Monson, Spencer W. Kimball, Boyd Packer
Examples of the abusive drivel from which the Mormon Bishop referenced above derives his fear-based diatribe against being human:
"We call upon members to renew their commitment to live the Lord’s standard of moral conduct. Parents should teach their children the sacred nature of procreative powers and instill in them a desire to be chaste in thought and deed. A correct understanding of the divinely appointed roles of men and women will fortify all against sinful practices. Our only real safety, physically and spiritually, lies in keeping the Lord’s commandments."
From https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/morality-and-modesty/office-of-the-first-presidency?lang=eng
Jar Jar Binks, becomes a mormon leader:
"weesa call upon members to renew thesa commitment to live da lord’s standard of moral conduct.parents should teach thesa children da sacr nature of procreative powers and instill in them a desire to be chasta in thought and de.a correct understand of da divine appoint roles of men and women ganna fortify all against sinful practices.weesa on real safety,physical and spiritual,lies in keep da lord’s commandments."
Swedish Chef:
"Ve-a cell upun members tu renoo zeeur cummeetment tu leefe-a zee Lurd’s stunderd ooff murel cundooct. Um de hur de hur de hur. Perents shuoold teech zeeur cheeldree zee secred netoore-a ooff prucreeteefe-a pooers und insteell in zeem a desure-a tu be-a cheste-a in thuooght und deed. Bork bork bork! A currect understundeeng ooff zee deefinely eppueented rules ooff mee und vumee veell furteeffy ell egeeenst seenffool precteeces. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Oooor oonly reel seffety, physeecelly und spureetooelly, leees in keepeeng zee Lurd’s cummundments. Um gesh dee bork, bork!"
--------------------------
Also from the King of retrograde a-holes, Spencer W. Kimball, we have:
"Most youth come into contact early with masturbation. Many would-be authorities declare that it is natural and acceptable, and frequently young men I interview cite these advocates to justify their practice of it. To this we must respond that the world's norms in many areas: drinking, smoking, and sex experience generally, to mention only a few - depart increasingly from God's law. The Church has a different, higher norm."
"Thus prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation. It induces feelings of guilt and shame. It is detrimental to spirituality. It indicates slavery to the flesh, not that mastery of it and the growth toward godhood which is the object of our mortal life. Our modern prophet has indicated that no young man should be called on a mission who is not free from this practice."
"While we should not regard this weakness as the heinous sin which some other sexual practices are, it is of itself bad enough to require sincere repentance. What is more, it too often leads to grievous sin, even to that sin against nature, homosexuality. For, done in private, it evolves often into mutual masturbation--practiced with another person of the same sex and thence into total homosexuality."
From: https://web.archive.org/web/20121024074759/http://www.lds.org/braille/The%20Miracle%20of%20Forgiveness.txt
Jar Jar Binks version:
"most youth comein into contact ear with masturbation.many would-be authorities declare da isa natural and acceptable,and frequent young men missa interview cita these advocates to justify thesa practice of it.to dis weesa must respond da da biiig empire s norms in many areas:drink,smok,and sex experience general,to mention onda few - depart increasing from biiig one s law.da church has a different,higher norm."
"thus prophets ancient and today condemn masturbation.it induces feelings of guilt and shame.isa detrimental to spirituality.it indicates slavery toda flesh,no da mastery of it and da growth toward godhood which is da object of weesa mortal life.weesa modern prophet has indicat da no young man should be call onda mission who is no free from dis practice."
"while weesa should no regard dis weakness as da heinous sin which some other sexual practices is,isa of itself bombad enough to require sincere repentance.what is more,it too often leads to grievous sin,even to da sin against nature,homosexuality.for,done in privata,it evolves often into mutual masturbation--practic with another person of da same sex and thence into total homosexuality."
Swedish Chef:
"Must yuoot cume-a intu cuntect ierly veet mestoorbeshun. Muny vuoold-be-a oothureeties declere-a thet it is netoorel und eccepteble-a, und freqooently yuoong mee I interfeeoo ceete-a zeese-a edfucetes tu joosteeffy zeeur precteece-a ooff it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Tu thees ve-a moost respund thet zee vurld's nurms in muny erees: dreenking, smukeeng, und sex ixpereeence-a generelly, tu menshun oonly a foo - depert increeseengly frum Gud's lev. Zee Choorch hes a deefffferent, heegher nurm."
"Thoos pruphets unceeently und tudey cundemn mestoorbeshun. It indooces feeleengs ooff gooeelt und sheme-a. It is detreementel tu spureetooelity. Bork bork bork! It indeecetes slefery tu zee flesh, nut thet mestery ooff it und zee groot tooerd gudhuud vheech is zee oobject ooff oooor murtel leeffe-a. Oooor mudern pruphet hes indeeceted thet nu yuoong mun shuoold be-a celled oon a meessiun vhu is nut free-a frum thees precteece-a."
"Vheele-a ve-a shuoold nut regerd thees veekness es zee heeenuoos seen vheech sume-a oozeer sexooel precteeces ere-a, it is ooff itselff bed inuoogh tu reqooure-a seencere-a repentunce-a. Vhet is mure-a, it tuu oofftee leeds tu greeefuoos seen, ifee tu thet seen egeeenst netoore-a, humusexooeleety. Bork bork bork! Fur, dune-a in preefete-a, it ifulfes oofftee intu mootooel mestoorbeshun--precteeced veet unuzeer persun ooff zee seme-a sex und zeence-a intu tutel humusexooeleety. Bork bork bork!"
Pig Latin:
"Ostmay youthay omecay intoyay ontactcay earlyyay ithway asturbationmay. Anymay ould-beway authoritiesyay eclareday atthay ityay isyay aturalnay andyay acceptableyay, andyay equentlyfray youngay enmay Iyay interviewyay itecay esethay advocatesyay otay ustifyjay eirthay acticepray ofyay ityay. Otay isthay eway ustmay espondray atthay ethay orld'sway ormsnay inyay anymay areasyay: inkingdray, okingsmay, andyay exsay experienceyay enerallygay, otay entionmay onlyyay ayay ewfay - epartday increasinglyyay omfray Od'sgay awlay. Ethay Urchchay ashay ayay ifferentday, igherhay ormnay."
"Usthay ophetspray ancientlyyay andyay odaytay ondemncay asturbationmay. Ityay inducesyay eelingsfay ofyay uiltgay andyay ameshay. Ityay isyay etrimentalday otay iritualityspay. Ityay indicatesyay averyslay otay ethay eshflay, otnay atthay asterymay ofyay ityay andyay ethay owthgray owardtay odhoodgay ichwhay isyay ethay objectyay ofyay ouryay ortalmay ifelay. Ouryay odernmay ophetpray ashay indicatedyay atthay onay youngay anmay ouldshay ebay alledcay onyay ayay issionmay owhay isyay otnay eefray omfray isthay acticepray."
"Ilewhay eway ouldshay otnay egardray isthay eaknessway asyay ethay einoushay insay ichwhay omesay otheryay exualsay acticespray areyay, ityay isyay ofyay itselfyay adbay enoughyay otay equireray inceresay epentanceray. Atwhay isyay oremay, ityay ootay oftenyay eadslay otay ievousgray insay, evenyay otay atthay insay againstyay aturenay, omosexualityhay. Orfay, oneday inyay ivatepray, ityay evolvesyay oftenyay intoyay utualmay asturbation--practicedmay ithway anotheryay ersonpay ofyay ethay amesay exsay andyay encethay intoyay otaltay omosexualityhay."
Valley Girl:
"Most youth come into contact early with masturbation. Many would-be authorities declare that it is natural and acceptable, like, and frequently young men I interview cite these advocates to justify their practice of it. To this we must respond that thuh world's norms in many areas: drinkin', man, smokin', like, wow, and sex experience generally, man, to mention only a few - depart increasin'ly from God's law. The Church has a different, man, higher norm."
"Thus prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation. It induces feelin's of guilt and shame. It is ya know, like, detrimental to spirituality. It indicates slavery to thuh flesh, like, not that mastery of it and thuh growth toward godhood which is like wow! the object of our mortal life. Our modern prophet has indicated that no young nerd should be called on a mission who is not free from this practice."
"While we should not regard this weakness as thuh heinous sin which some other sexual practices are, oh, baby, it is ya know, like, of itself mean enough to require sincere repentance. What is more, man, it too often leads to grievous sin, like, even to that sin against nature, man, homosexuality. For, like, wow, done in private, mostly, it evolves often into mutual masturbation--practiced with another person of thuh same sex and thence into total homosexuality."
I think my favorite versions are Swedish Chef.
------------------------
There's many reasons to extract oneself from such insantiy.
Here's more I just found:
Apostasy A to Z - Or, why I don't go to church any more. by Chris Tolworthy
http://www.exmormon.org.uk/tol_arch/atozelph/
Down toward the bottom of the last page there's a defunct link. But here's a copy:
Who Are The Lamanites?
http://web.archive.org/web/20060313004519/http://home.comcast.net/~zarahemla/Lamanites/Lamanites_Index.html
Attention, Spencer Kimball: Masturbation does not lead to homosexuality. But your constant obsessions about it may.
Attention, Boyd Packer: Keep your hands off of my little factory, and out of the bedrooms of all children & adults in your cult.
Attention, Thomas Monson & cohorts: You're a bunch of f-ing old farts. What about Joseph Smith sleeping with a 14 year old, and with the wives of other men? What about Brigham Young sleeping with a 15 year old and with the wives of other men?
No More: End Mormons' Sexually Invasive Interviews of Children
https://www.facebook.com/pages/No-More-End-Mormons-Sexually-Invasive-Interviews-of-Children/503622079732706
Teaching children to fear their own bodies. That is what the Mormon Church teaches. Teaching eight, and eleven, and twelve year old children that masturbation may lead to homosexuality. Crazy. Stupid. Abusive. This must be stopped!
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